Miley Cyrus Apology Letter Going VIRAL!

Miley-Cyrus-twerk-VMA-2013-Robin-Thicke

Dear Humanity,

I know — you’re expecting me to say, “OMG, y’all — I’m so sorry for my twerk heard ’round the world,” but..I’m not.  I’m just not.  I’m a 20 year old kid, with some singing ability, an attractive enough physique, and a care-free attitude, who’s paid to walk out onto a stage, and twerk it!  I did just that.  I twerked.  Guilty as charged.   I twerked all up on the guy in the “Beetlejuice suit.”  I twerked in the Smith family’s face.  I twerked on national television.  I twerked the world — and I liked it!  I twerked, and I’ll do it again!  I’m NOT sorry.  Well, that’s not entirely accurate.  I’m very sorry, but not for my absolutely harmless rump-shakin’.

It’s like this…  I’m a star.  As a young Hollywood celebrity, I want, need, as much publicity as possible.  It’s how I remain relevant in a business always looking for younger, prettier, sexier…wilder.  I knew, when I slid into my skin-tight, gold-colored booty shorts, with intent to twerk, that publicity was headin’ my way.  Not because “twerkin” is so shocking, but because I’m “Hannah Montana” — daughter of be-mulleted heartthrob, Billy Ray Cyrus!  I expected “publicity” because my “act” would crystallize my “Disney Girl Gone Bad (read: adult)” transformation, like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Lindsay Lohan before me!  And when I say “publicity,” I’m not talking about your TMZ, and Perez Hilton coverage…I’m talkin’ national coverage!  Well — I got it.

I’m so sorry, humanity.

I’m sorry that I allowed myself to be used as a complete, and utter, distraction from the criminality that’s passing as discourse for American foreign policy proposals.  I’m sorry that, for days on end, CNN, MSNBC, and FOX News ceaselessly shoved my fleshy tush into your faces, and convinced you it was necessary to form an opinion AT THE EXPENSE of forming an opinion about the legality/morality of US intervention in the Syrian civil war.  I’m dreadfully sorry that my desire to shake my image (and booty) has become THE MOST pressing national discussion, at a time when our President decides whether to unilaterally, and without NECESSARY Congressional approval, rain down cruise missiles upon a nation that poses ZERO risk to the safety our nation (as stipulated as a requirement in the War Powers Resolution).  You know what’s easier to talk about than whether President Obama is planning to violate the Constitution by making war with Syria?  A 20 year old Disney star who twerked before a nation that’s skillfully shuffled from distraction to distraction.  :-/

If the United States intervenes, and drops “humanitarian” bombs on Syria, innocent people will die.  They’ll be as innocent as the nearly two hundred children slaughtered in US drone strikes.  As innocent as the civilian first responders killed in “double tap” drone strikes.  As innocent as the 500 thousand to 1 million Iraqi children under 5 who died as a result of US sanctions.  As innocent as the scores of sickened, and disfigured, souls who’ve been (knowingly) exposed to radioactive depleted uranium munitions.  As innocent as the victims of the gassing attack, for which the United States is suddenly compelled to fight a war.

I’m afraid that Syria is a mess.  The poor, innocent people of Syria are trapped between two (actually myriad) well-armed factions, intent on killing.  Even if America possessed the moral authority to intervene — it couldn’t pick a “winner.”  I feel all I can do, as a conscious, peace-loving human being, is pray for peace, and urge our “leaders” to push for a ceasefire.  We simply can’t solve this problem with bombs.

I’m certain my 5 second twerk at the MTV VMA’s didn’t warrant the attention it’s received.  For that, I feel like a chump.  It reminds me of a lyric from the 2pac song, “Changes

“I made a G today” But you made it in a sleazy way.

This whole scenario is “sleazy,” but I want to do my part to make this right.  For my role as a distraction from the actual, significant, non-twerking news of the world, I’m genuinely sorry.  To the innocent people of Syria, who will surely perish at the hands of US “humanitarian” bombs, I’m so sorry.  To the American public, who will bear the brunt of future terror attacks resulting from yet another iteration of US foreign policy meddling, I’m sorry for my role in diverting your attention away from a sorely needed national debate.  I’m sorry I didn’t speak out sooner, humanity.

There’s still time to make things right.  Share my letter, read the links, and call/tweet your Congressperson to DEMAND that they assert their authority on the issue of making war.  And.. most importantly..  it’s flapping skin — GET OVER IT!

Love,

Miley <3

Letter not actually penned by Miley Cyrus

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41 responses to “Miley Cyrus Apology Letter Going VIRAL!

  1. miley! u speak as if ur a late 20’s man with his own issues about the world and how ur so sorry. sounds like u stuck ur tounge out to the right nerd and used him to write an apology letter. I still smell the stink of ur not owning up to ur whoreish shit, and beetlejuise is a rapist. but if that’s what gets u off im ok with that, just don’t distract the media when war and childrens lives are at stake.

    • You do have a high enough reading level to read the part at the end where it says it wasn’t written by her, right? Oh, no, wait. You’re calling a girl dancing in a sexual way ‘whorish’ and blaming her, not the media or our star-obsessed culture, for ‘distracting the media’. Continue with your middle-ages bullshit and first grade reading level, carry on.

      • It’s pretty clear Casey knows Miley didn’t write this hence “u speak as if ur a late 20′s man with his own issues about the world” Maybe you’re the one who should learn to read?

      • Common Matt…Although I agree with your views on the media’s responsibility and the disgusting fact that this news has over shadowed that of real world crisis, I have to say that I’m such as disgusted at people like yourself who want to leave the blame with the media and our star-obsessed culture. It is exactly that every one else is at fault attitude that perpetuates ignorance. Let’s place the blame where blame is due! After all, if she had enough respect for herself AND wasn’t more concerned with making money than her young fans….then NO ONE, not even the media would be having this discussion right now.

    • Juice. It’s BeetleJUICE. And for fucks sake, its your. 2 extra letters can help you to not sound like some doped up moron. The letter is meaningless. It’s just another piece of PR. Your post however… let me guess. You didnt need high school. Everything you needed to know you learned from the Bible.

      • Trust me, if all he learned was from the Bible, he would be VERY concerned about what is happening in the Middle East. I find it curious that you jumped to that conclusion and regarded your assumption as a negative aspect. I pray you find peace.

      • actually… the movie title is beetlejuice… but the spelling of his name is actually beetlegeuse :P

    • And you speak as though you are (sorry, UR) a 14 year old girl getting recently accustomed to using “grammar”, CASEY- oh… sorry. Are you a 14 year old girl? My bad. If you want to make a point, at least TRY to sound educated.

  2. Agreed Matt. It’s U.S. distraction with the help of the media. Talk about terrorism. The good old U.S.A. is the biggest terrorist nation on earth and the last 4 at least, presidents, should be tried for war crimes against humanity, including Obama.

  3. Relax Miley. I know for a fact your performance was rehearsed for weeks. The timing of the politics that day was not your fault. You are not responsible for all the evil in the world. You are only responsible for the choices you make regarding the evil you promote. You are not innocent. If you really believe your behavior doesn’t make “the artist”, then you are just another lost cause. There are many greats and when people remember them, they smile. In your case, (as of now) they are losing their cookies. Your “whatever” attitude about your exhibition says so much about you as a person. This kind of recognition is as shallow as you display yourself to be. I wonder what will be written on your tombstone.
    Here lies Miley
    Famous for showing her hiney
    Her need for fame
    Turned into pure shame.

    • I agree,

      No one held a gun to her head as she stated… It was her choice… There are other ways to show you have grown as a person, and moved away from Hannah Montana into adulthood. That is one way. It was effective, and she got the attention she wanted; but just like the child who throws a temper tantrum to get mommy or daddy’s attention, just because it’s effective doesn’t make it right.

      Ps, using world issues to make yourself sound mature and wise, all the while trying to make your actions seem insignificant? Nice ploy, hope people are sheepish enough to buy it. Part of being an adult is owning your actions. Here is to you learning from your mistakes. :)

      • You guys realize this was not written by Miley and doesn’t actually have anything to do with her, right? It’s a comment about the media and how they use superficial and sensationalist stories such as “Miley causes controversy twerking at the VMAs” to draw attention away from other, more pressing issues, such as US intervention in the Syrian civil war…

  4. Mikey, you need to learn you can be sexy without being slutty. You twerking does not look sexy. In fact you look incredibly retarded and trashy. And if this is the only way you can get fans then that tells me you really don’t have that much talent. Probably should have stick to just being Hannah Montana. Really feel bad for your fiance and your dad. They actually have to acknowledge they know you. Learn to be classy Miley.
    -Brittany

  5. The letter doesn’t even try and make her performance sound respectable. The author, who obviously has no relation to Miley Cyrus and whose blog is about anti-war politics, colors it very much as a shallow grab for attention. Yet these commentators they still feel compelled to make that point themselves, as if they really need to tell Ms. Cyrus. Continuing to give her shallow grab for attention… undeserved attention.

    Guys, the point here is that “humanitarian bombing” is an oxymoron. Can you shut up about your pop-star obsessions for a second, because there’s an actual life or death issue being obscured by this girl’s butt.

    • Says the person who also not only read it but the responses as well and still felt the need to comment??? Lol pot, hi! My name is kettle, nice to meet you.

  6. This is probably one of the smartest way to open people’s eyes, right now people are more focused in stupid things like Miley Cyrus ridiculous performance than what is actually happening in the world, how the US is stepping on humanity!!! share this so our people start realizing what’s going on in our world and what really matters

  7. Shenanigans I call shenanigans on this letter your not doing anyhting but a bait and switch here talking about what you did then switching it suddely to syrian debate were not idiots in Canada we see through your bullshit this whole bad girl imae that your trying to do is a sales gimick for targeting teens who are “rebeling” agains their parents and is nothing but what your over lords want from you your music went from medioker to complete shit cuz your so cought up in this image and ass shaking which dont get me wrong i get girls do it all the time but still your a musician why dont you focus on your music and not the image sex sells but talent lives on forever your billy raye would say the same thing to you look at hendrix wasnt about the image straight tellent or guns n roses , rush, hell even blind willie Johnson is remember his song dark as night is on a golden record floating in space why not because he sold sex or a bad boy image no because a blind man whos house burnt down adn was left with nothing but a guitar and a box to sleep in put more sole and dedication into his art then you ever could either get your shit together or gtfo

      • This is not about her!!! This is about our world… I think we can do better than talk or worry about something insignificant like Miley Cyrus, if we really look closer at what’s going on in our planet and worry about things that matter like the US trying to attack Siria for no reason well actually a big reason OIL and POWER you people would really understand this is not about her!!!!!

    • Ok first of all, RJ, PLEASE GET AN EDUCATION. See how I ended that statement with some sort of punctuation? My God.

      Now on to the real issue, WHY ARE WE GETTING INVOLVED IN THE AFFAIRS OF ANOTHER COUNTRY?! WHY IS OUR FUCKING PRESIDENT INTENT ON BEING THE WORLD POLICE?! We have so many problems here at home, now were going to attack and involve ourselves in someone else’s bullshit. Send our sons and daughters to fight and die for some other nations issues. Kill innocent children, women, and men…because we can’t keep our noses in our own fucking business and deal with our own problems! It’s a fucking disaster and WE THE PEOPLE need to take a fucking stand against this shit. Plain and simple.

    • Literacy . ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
      next time try punctuation with your conjunctions. You sound like the idiot you are trying to convince people Canadians are not.

  8. I don’t really mind her twerking. The most annoying part is that thing she does with her tongue. She seriously needs to stop that. It’s not sexy at all.

  9. Pingback: The Miley Circus and Indifference | Modern Issues: Psychology·

  10. People calm down she will never write and apology letter because she is just one poor ignorant manipulated by the wrong people. If she ever have 2 finger of brain she will regret what she did crashing the beautiful image of Hanna Montana in to a street slot that probably will dance better and use a better outfit than what she used that day her body look so disgusting in it she have to be in some kind drug that day because no body in there right mind will do something like that unless she has schizophrenic attack like the other singers this girl need some psychiatric attention.

  11. I read this “apology” letter thinking “wow, Miley Cyrus wrote this?” Then, of course, at the end, I saw the disclaimer. So the letter, and all of the bluster in these comments, mean absolutely NOTHING. All of it – from the reading of the letter, to the snarky comments (this one included) amount to a colossal waste of time,.

  12. Of course Miley didn’t write it. You wouldn’t need the disclaimer. Miley has no idea what a “Syria” even is. And yeah, go ahead and blame the media. It’s the media’s fault for shoving Miley down our throats while the world just begged for more foreign policy and Syria coverage….Please….

  13. Well, I never really had a problem with the infamous “VMA Miley Cyrus Twerk” I just felt and still feel it was a 20-year old having fun only difference is unlike some of us who’ve done crazier shameful (yet fun) acts privately or within the company of close friends she did it on national television. So whether she wrote the letter or not I honestly cannot judge her or condemn her for being a typical youngster…oh yeah and about the whole Syria issue and Obama not really seeking congressional authorization I totally share similar sentiments.

  14. I’m not sure why she matters. It’s our responsibility as U.S. citizens to keep ourselves informed on current events. If the popular news isn’t covering the right things, then find a new news source. After all, if they lose their viewers because people want to see what’s actually happening in the world, they will begin to cover the stories we want to see. Don’t blame the news or some washed-up and bored pop star. Blame yourself for not taking advantage of the power you have over the media.

  15. Did anyone notice that Miley’s new song wrecking ball was released, correct me if I’m wrong, two days after the MVA awards? Silly girl or clever marketing genius? Got her a lot of attention and surprise surprise wrecking ball shot to the top…. Bet Miley is “twerkin” all the way to the bank. Watch this spot, sheep, there will be more dribble for you to eat up….

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